Okay, So This Luxury Real Estate Kansas City Thing Just Got Real
Hey, got a sec? It’s Jess. You’re not gonna believe what I just saw. So I’m sitting here, right? Just minding my own business, scrolling through listings like usual. And BAM! This house pops up. Seven. Million. Dollars. In Kansas City! I literally did a spit-take with my coffee. Thank god my laptop survived.
This House is… I Don’t Even Have Words
Okay, picture this. It’s on some fancy-pants golf course, right? And get this – 15,000 square feet. Fifteen thousand! That’s not a house, that’s a small country. I swear, it’s like those ridiculous celebrity mansions for sale you see on TV. But it’s here. In KC. I’m still not convinced I’m not being punk’d. Look, I’ve sold some nice million dollar homes in Kansas City before. But this? This is… it’s like KC just decided to put on its big boy pants and play with the coastal cities. It’s got amenities I can’t even pronounce. Probably has a room just for storing other rooms. I’m half expecting to find out it comes with its own zip code.
But Seriously, What’s Happening to KC?
I keep pinching myself. Like, did I miss a memo? When did KC become the land of mega-mansions? Don’t get me wrong, I love this city more than BBQ (okay, maybe not more, but it’s close). But $7 million? Here? I feel like I’m in an episode of “The Twilight Zone: Real Estate Edition.” But then I start thinking about it. We’ve got all these swanky new restaurants in KC popping up. Tech companies moving in left and right. Maybe we are turning into some Midwest Silicon Valley or something? I don’t know whether to be excited or terrified.
Who in the World is Gonna Buy This Place?
I’m racking my brain trying to figure out who’s gonna snatch this place up. Most of my day is spent explaining to first-time buyers the difference between townhouse vs duplex. And now I’m supposed to sell a house that costs more than some small towns? Maybe Patrick Mahomes needs a bigger place to practice his throws? Or maybe some tech billionaire decided the coasts are overrated? Honestly, at this point, I’m half expecting aliens to show up and use it as their Midwest headquarters.
I Think I Need a Drink (And It’s Not Even Noon)
Look, I’ve been doing this real estate thing for a while now. I thought I’d seen it all. But this house? It’s got me questioning my entire career. And possibly my sanity. I love KC. The food, the people, the way everyone loses their minds over the Chiefs. But sometimes I see stuff like this and I feel like I’m in some parallel universe where KC is the new Beverly Hills. I guess we’re growing up or something. But $7 million? That’s not growing up, that’s skipping straight to midlife crisis and buying a yacht. Except the yacht is a house. On a golf course. In Kansas City. I don’t even know what to think anymore. Is this real life? Am I still sleeping? Maybe I need to lay off the late-night pizza and true crime shows. Anyway, I gotta run. Apparently, I have a $7 million house to try and sell. Wish me luck. I’m gonna need it. And maybe a stiff drink. Or five.
